If you’re thinking of playing with handcuffs, here’s a tip: Don’t hide the key anywhere near your genitals. An anonymous woman who appeared on a recent episode of Sex Sent Me to the E.R. (one of the best offerings from TLC — formerly The Learning Channel) is laughing about the incident on TV now, but she wasn’t laughing when she and her partner had to rush to the emergency room because their romantic role-playing had gone very, very wrong.
The couple was acting out the age-old story of a beautiful princess being kidnapped by a sex-starved dragon with a BDSM fetish (I assume, because the dragon had handcuffs), when the dragon got a little too frisky and shoved the keys up the princess’s vagina.
The keys got lodged in her uterus and then tangled up in her IUD, which sounds just awful. I don’t even have the same genitals as a woman and there’s some empathetic pain going on in my lower abdominal area. Fortunately, both the princess and the dragon survived to play another day (Maybe without handcuffs this time, guys?), but their story is a cautionary tale about the dangers of inserting things into oneself. That’s a thing I just typed. BE SAFE OUT THERE!
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